It was a hot, oppressively humid day. The air conditioning, which normally functions well, was simply unable to keep the livingroom cool, even with the added fan tower oscillating on low to scatter the cooled air.
“Asking me if I like coffee is like asking me if I like breathing.”
I’d had no breakfast and it was far past lunchtime; I was hungry to the point of nausea, but it was too hot to eat. As we had no fruit or salad makings in the house, there was only one solution: iced coffee.
“Any friend of coffee is a friend of mine.”
Now, I love my coffee. A person would have to either be a fool or have a serious death wish to come between me and my coffee, hot, iced or in the form of ice cream. I have been known to grow in height by 8.5 inches and in girth by 275 lbs, taking on the appearance and demeanor of an enraged gorilla on steroids when I’m kept from my coffee.
“I believe humans get a lot done, not because we’re smart, but because we have thumbs so we can make coffee.”
– Flash Rosenberg –
So I made a lovely, icy, 12 ounce glass of iced coffee, perfectly sweetened, with just the right amount of whole milk to ease the rumbly in my tumbly. Lunch was served.
“I think if I were a woman I’d wear coffee as a perfume.”
– John Van Drute –
I set my glass on the coffee table and went to my bedroom to change into some cooler clothes and tie my hair up. When I returned to the livingroom, this is what met my eyes.
“The powers of a (wo)man’s mind are directly proportioned to the quantity of coffee (s)he drinks.”
– Sir James Mackintosh –
I love my cat to the moon, but this…this…will get his face on a milk carton realllly, really fast.
“That’s something that annoys the hell out of me—I mean if somebody says the coffee’s all ready and it isn’t…”
-Holden Caufield, Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger) –
Bad kitty. Bad, bad kitty! I let him finish this one. I don’t drink after kitty kat lips. I made a fresh glass of iced coffee for myself. Fortunately, he didn’t ‘urp” what he drank.
“Without my morning coffee I’m just like a dried up piece of roast goat.”
– Johann Sebastian Bach –
Bad kitty, I say. Bad, bad kitty to drink my iced coffee. I guess we both have OCD: “Obsessive Coffee Disorder”.
“It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity.”
– David Barry –