Oh no! Mold! MOLD in my house! Enter: Hammacher Schlemmer.


(don't you hate it when that sneeze takes its own sweet time to get here?!)

(don’t you hate it when that sneeze takes its own sweet time to get here?!)

I have a horrid  sinus condition that keeps giving me headaches and sneezies up the wazoo. I was at my wit’s end last night, after a 13 sneeze  event, until I happened to spy, with my little eye, a black fuzzy on my living room wall, near the floor. Placing my reading glasses on the end of my nose, I took a closer look and, OMGawd! it was mold! I have MOLD IN MY HOUSE!!

It’s time to break out the hydrogen peroxide and chlorine and start scrubbing, search the shed for that old can of Kilz paint and start looking for an air purifier thingy to try and filter all those stray MOLD spores that are surely floating around my house, sticking up their little MOLDy middle fingers up at me as I try to catch them by waving my Hepa Filtered vacuum cleaner hose around in the air.

I’d been working on my novel-in-progress and the fact that I had given the family a dehumidifier (the mother considers whether or not this might be the reason for her little girl’s health condition, btw…) slapped me up ‘side my head, so I thought, “hmmm…air cleaner! GOOGLE!!”

As I was Googling for air cleaners and/or dehumidifiers that will catch the tiniest size of MOLD spores, I came across a store that I haven’t checked out in about 10 years: Hammacher Schlemmer. Twenty-four years ago, they offered one of the first “call monitor” machines for personal use. It went beyond being an answering machine. It had the capability of saving data (phone numbers and names) which, if it “recognized” the number, would allow the phone to “ring through”. Otherwise, the number was stored and the caller would get a generic “I’ll call you back as soon as possible” message. No need for the caller to leave his/her number. Go ahead and hang up. I purchased it.

It was so cool. I still have that machine and it still worked the last time I had a landline phone.

Back to Google. I clicked on the store’s website URL and, “Lo’ and behold! Thank you, Jesus!! Go tell it on the mountain!!!, Hammacher Schlemmer has a purifier that takes care of MOLD spores, as well as dust!

Yippeeee!!

Hammacher Schlemmer also has a personal submarine that looks like a sports car on sale for a mere $4M…but it does nothing for MOLD, so I’ll just stick that on my Wish List for now.

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25 thoughts on “Oh no! Mold! MOLD in my house! Enter: Hammacher Schlemmer.

  1. :’) :’) I thought I’d Google Hammacher Schlemmer to see for myself and their motto is: The Unexpected Gifts. I can just imagine giving someone a festively wrapped up submarine as a present. I bet they’d never see that coming indeed! Which reminds me…it’s my birthday in a couple of weeks. Just sayin’ XD. But that mold issue…I have the same inside my house ever since they insulated the walls…but you’re not supposed to scrub? What else are you supposed to do about it then? Just let it grow merrily? :/

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  2. We had a mold issue several times. Downfall of living in NW and struggling with proper ventilation and finding good bathroom fans. Please be careful. Both times I was instructed by the specialist who came out to absolutely never attempt to scrub or clean. The spores spread so easy! My nonhusband also oversees several restoration franchises for a very large corporation and they say not to clean as well. Wish you the best and hope it is remedied soon and you feel better!

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    • But if you have to live in your house….well… :/

      We’ve had to deal with mold a couple of times since I moved back to Florida, what with hurricane season and all, and yes, you are soooo right – mold spores are easier to spread than if they were no more than vapour. This is why I want to hurry up and get that air purifier/filter thingy (the one I’m referring to, by the way, is military grade; it will cost a pretty penny, but it’s still less expensive than moving) – Actually, the Kilz would do the job by itself, so I’ve heard. But I can’t just paint over fuzz!!

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